Sunday, June 08, 2014

Police blotter.



Monday, 10:58 A.M.: Neighhorhood cat is eating birds from the bird feeder.

Tuesday, 11:47 A.M.: Caller wants to talk to an officer about a kid, 16-17 years of age with “a curly head of hair,” who made a hand signal shaped like a gun and pulled the “trigger” while making “pow-pow” verbal sound effects.

Thursday, 12:05 A.M.: Call from a highly intoxicated female saying that someone was trying to bring a gas can into the bar and she wanted an officer to come and address this problem. Update: bartender said there wasn't a problem and that the caller was actually the one who brought in the gas can.

Friday, 4:54 P.M.: Caller requests to know what her son's probation conditions are since "he's in a house with a bunch of assholes."

Saturday, 2:07 A.M.:  Daily Press employee states that his coworker's vehicle is covered in shaving cream.

Sunday, 11:08 P.M.:  Call from bicyclist reporting a group of people running strips of Saran Wrap across the road from pole to pole/tree to tree.  Update: no people located, but Saran Wrap was taken down. 


Tuesday, June 03, 2014

#HashtagsAplenty.


It continues.


#Call911ForPot
#DeadlyFall
#KillerVirgin
#VirginKiller
#SuspectOrPsychic
#RatPoison
#NewlywedDeath
#KillerMommy
#KillerPill
#BradPitt
#BabySnatcher
#PotToBlame
#2Rich4Justice
#2Sexy4School
#MobWives
#WickedSurfer
#TeacherAbuse
#FlirtToDivorce
#TeacherSexVegas
#GymBagShocker
#DoggyDoorThief
#KillerJuice
#LipoKiller
#SexToyText
#BeachDeath
#PoliticianPorn
#DeadlyDentist
#PsychicScam
#ColdBlooded
#Guilty
#Bombshells
#Outrage