Wednesday, April 30, 2014

#EvenMoreHashtags.


I will never fall out of love with these.

#ClassroomHorror
#Elmo
#MurderTattoo
#KidsWithGuns

#WhoKilledDaddy
#MomVsPitBill
#StripperBill
#DwarfSexSting
#CleavageComplaint
#PervyPics
#CatchTotPeeper
#QVCStalker
#DashcamChase
#FlightFreakOut
#PotToBlame
#ShakenBaby
#SaltDeath
#SerialKillerMom
#TotOnCarRoof
#SchoolBusBrawl
#BoxesOfBabies
#RIPUltimateWarrior
#HighwayBeating
#ScissorCop
#WebcamMurder
#BustedKiss
#CaughtInTheAct
#BurgerKingBaby
#TragedyOrArson
#BathTubMom
#PotTot
#PlaygroundRazor
#ButtToDieFor
#WelfareGods
#McRoadRage
#TooRichForJail
#BreastsAndBeer
#KillerPancakes
#Outrage



Police blotter.


Monday, 10:34 P.M.: Caller requests an officer as he would like to press charges against someone for calling him a jerk.

Wednesday, 8:38 A.M.:  Large, fluffy white and orange cat found, described as "very cute."


Thursday:  Caller discovered a brand new package of Hot Wheels next to her car. She believes it was left there by a person she has a restraining order against, since he collects Hot Wheels.


Friday, 11:32 P.M.: Caller stated that someone was either passed out or had some other issue, and had his head stuck between a chair and a wall.

Saturday, 10:58 A.M.: Caller advised that her 1 year-old just locked herself in the car.


14 in 2014: #6.


In a radical departure from hats:  monster bunny!  For Elliot's birthday!  Done AND mailed on time, for a change!



Easy, easily adaptable, and fairly flat for mailing.  I'll make (and have possibly already made) more of these...



14 in 2014: #5.


Yet another hat.  Thrilling, I know.



This one turned out a little..beret-y?  In the back?  I think I liked the first slouchy hat pattern a little better, but maybe this one turned out this way because of user error.

14 in 2014: #4.


Another hat.


Happy Birthday, revisited.


So there was this.  Which turned out like this the next morning:





Seriously, the snow almost buried the crabapple tree in the backyard this year.  That's just ridiculous.

April 3rd was also the day that my childhood idol David Letterman announced his retirement, I had to cancel my birthday dinner due to the start of the snownami, and to really add insult to injury, it was the day my camera died, too.  At least that was serendipitous in a way, since it was the last day of my take-a-picture-every-day-for-a-year project...so it could've been worse?

Epilogue:  two days later, things got better WHEN I MET THE WIENERMOBILE.



And Pierre, the Pantsless Voyageur.  And a Sinclair dinosaur north of Duluth.  And giant icebergs at Brighton Beach.  (Photos borrowed/stolen from David, who's basically kind of like my personal paparazzo at this point.  Thanks, David!)

 





So yeah, in the grand scheme of things, it could've been a lot worse.  Happy Year #35.



Monday, April 21, 2014

Police blotter.



Sunday, 3:45 P.M.: Caller advised that an unknown person in a purple pickup truck with a snowmobile called him the "f-word" and had snow covering the license plate. Dispatch advised that the police do not search out people for swearing.

Monday, 3:33 P.M.: Caller reports that her neighbors' dogs (black and yellow labs) are running loose and defecating in everyone's yards.


Monday, 4:36 P.M.: Concerned caller reports two vehicles stuck in snowbank and advised that he thinks they're "drunk and stupid."

Tuesday, 5:30 P.M.: Passerby reports kids jumping off a roof from a house into the snow. Update: advised parent was taking pictures and kids were supervised.

Thursday, 11:32 A.M.: Front desk at the Super 8 reports a highly intoxicated male was naked in the hot tub. Caller told him he had to leave, but he yelled at the caller and went back to his room.

Saturday, 12:32 A.M.: Caller complains that another person is spreading rumors about her.

Saturday, 11:09 A.M.: Caller demands that an officer come to his residence so they can look at a snow pile that got put too close to his house.



What's making me happy this week.


I loved this piece on Slate even before my friend David said, "Mary, you basically are Tina."

Why Tina Belcher is a Folk Hero for Anxious Young People


Wednesday, April 09, 2014

Thursday, April 03, 2014

Happy Birthday. Love, Mother Nature.



Apparently, Mother Nature heard I was turning 35 today and decided she'd attempt to give me the equivalent amount in snow.