Sunday, September 30, 2012


My friend Laura & her husband Nick are running a 10k on Thanksgiving...a turkey trot, if you will.  She posted a picture on Facebook of some hats she'd found on Etsy that she was thinking about ordering to wear for the race, and I took one look at their $25 a pop price tags and said I'd happily whip up a couple for them on the house. 

Turkey hat.Turkey hat.
Turkey hat.

(Seriously, I can't believe how much some people get for stuff on Etsy.  These take about $4.00 of yarn, for pete's sake.)

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Friday, September 28, 2012

I'll take "sock pow zok" over "sis boom bah" any day.

This morning, I had an old guy ask me if I remember my high school's fight song.  It was hard to find a respectful way to say dude, I'm pretty sure I didn't know my high school's song when I was in high school. 

(And judging by his facial expression, I really don't think he liked it when I referred to it as my high school's "theme song.")

I have vague recollections of playing something upbeat & bouncy ad nauseum with the pep band at football and basketball games, so maybe at one time, if my school did in fact have a theme -- er, fight -- song, I knew it.  Or I knew how to play it on my bass clarinet, anyway.  But did it have lyrics?  Were there specific times people were supposed to stand up or yell or clap or something?  Who knows.  I mean, we played so many upbeat & bouncy songs ad nauseum back then, how could I possibly keep them all straight.  If I ever knew any of that stuff, it got wallpapered over in my brain a loooooong time ago, probably by MST3K quotes or my college ID number (1840349!) or  or remembering how to insert tacky clip art into Christmas card letters each December.  (Hey, it's hard to remember how to do that when it only comes up once a year.  Maybe I should practice by inserting it into important legal documents year-'round, to keep it fresh?)

And that old guy can roll his eyes all he likes, but if my school had a proper theme song like the ones from Green Acres or Mr. Ed or The Dukes of Hazzard or The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, I bet I'd remember it.  In fact, as a public service, may I offer the following suggestion to my alma mater:

Just change all the "Batmans" to "Ashlands"!  Problem solved!


Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Police blotter.

Wednesday, 9:19 A.M.: Caller reported a “texting war” between his dad and his girlfriend.  Texts make comments about him not having any musical artistic talent. Caller said he and the other subjects have exchanged mean texts.  Dispatch advised caller to change his phone number.

Thursday, 6:51 P.M.:  Caller reports that the neighborhood pitbull is out roaming the streets again.

Saturday, 9:48 A.M.: Caller reported that the people who live next door let their dogs run loose and they poop in the caller’s yard.

Saturday, 2:05 P.M.: Caller is getting harassing texts from a girl calling her boyfriend a “loser.”

Sunday, 2:38 P.M.:  Caller reports the theft of a bald eagle from her freezer.

Monday, 9:40 A.M.:   Report of 30+ vultures on the roof and trees around a big brown house.

Tuesday, 7:39 P.M.: Man stopped at police station asking to speak with an officer regarding his phone.  Stated his phone began making strange noises and he was unable to sleep.  Further stated that he had ripped the phone off the wall, but the phone was still making noises.  Officer went to residence with man to assist; noise was carbon monoxide detector with a “low battery” beep.  Battery changed and phone restored.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Oredock demolition update.

Oredock, 9/14/2012.

As you can see, they've finished roughly one-third of the demolition work on the top section of the dock. The crew is expected to keep working until winter kicks in, then they'll go on hiatus until spring.

All the chutes on the western side have been lowered (well, except for one which you can see on the far right) -- I read in today's paper that when they started the demolition work, there were 300 on the dock (with one or two missing from each side), each weighing 10,000 pounds.  Holy crap.  It'd be interesting to get the opportunity to walk up to one laid out on the ground or something, to get an idea of how big they actually are.

Police blotter.

Monday, 9:38 A.M.: 
Caller believes someone has a key to her house. She was gone for the weekend and came home to find her front lawn raked.

Monday, 8:19 P.M.:  Caller reports her neighbor is eating her wild rice.

Tuesday, 5:19 P.M.:  Caller reports a highly intoxicated vagrant wandering around the parking lot, swearing and asking people where his bike is.  Caller told him where his bike was because she could see it, but he wouldn't listen to her.

Wednesday, 9:21 P.M.:  Caller reports a blue van drove by the house and yelled something out of the window.

Friday, 8:39 A.M.:  Caller would like to speak with an officer, but would not say what the problem was.

Saturday, 11:42 A.M.: Resident near Beaser Park reports three kids that keep taking Mutt Mitts and filling them with sand.  Bags are scattered all over the park.

Saturday, 8:13 P.M.: Caller reports receiving a phone call from his father, who is at Clam Lake.  Father said that he was in big trouble with law enforcement and was being taken to jail, then the line was disconnected.  When the son called his father back, father stated he was only kidding, then hung up.  Caller reports he checked with area jails and his father wasn’t in custody; requested welfare check on his father at the lake.  Update, 9:26 P.M.: Officer reports finding the father and he confirmed it was “just a joke” and that he called his son back and “chewed him out royally.”

Sunday, 3:10 P.M.: Caller reports lewd male wearing only t-shirt and socks.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Stuff I've made lately.

I know I keep promising to re-commit to writing more on here, but lately I've been on a big crocheting kick and it somehow seems counterproductive to force myself to change gears if I'm having fun doing something else.  I figure I'll get sick of yarn one of these days and will be ready to do something else again, and maybe that's when I'll feel more like writing.  It'll happen!

Anyway -- in the meantime, here's some crap I've made lately. 

Bunny stuff for Erica.

My friend Erica's expecting twins (TWINS!) later this year and posted a picture on Facebook of some handmade bunny-eared baby hats (and cottontailed diaper covers) that she liked that were, like, $70 a set. I was like, what did the person make them out of?  Was the yarn made of actual babies?  Because $70 was freakin' highway robbery.  Anyway, I spoke up and offered to make her some instead, and saved her nearly $140 (considering that she'd need two).  And since I had extra yarn left over, I made extra hats for the kids to grow into later in the winter. Sweet.  I hope her impending sons are pleasantly humiliated by all the baby pictures she'll take of them wearing these get-ups.

Also: she didn't want her toddler Charlotte to feel left-out, so I made a couple of bunny-eared hats for her, too.  (One for now, one for when her head's a little bigger.)

September 9.

And, since I was on a roll, a few extras to put away for baby shower presents down the line.  Look at me, being so proactive.

August 23.

After that, I whipped up a few of these baby cocoons to further load up the box I was sending to Erica -- they went a little quicker than a regular baby blanket, and I figured if they weren't her cup of tea, Charlotte could use them as sleeping bags for her stuffed animals or something.

September 6.

Last but not least, I finally finished this freakin' baby blanket I started way back in...July?  It must've been July, because I bought the yarn on sale during Bay Days.  I like making this particular pattern, but it requires a lot of tension keeping all the strands of yarn in the right place and my hands get tired.  I sound like an 80 year-old.  Back to hats after this bad boy, my hands need a break.

September 19.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012


September 18.


P.S.  Anyone want to set up lawn chairs by the roundabout over Apple Fest weekend?

Sunday, September 09, 2012

Police blotter.

Monday, 6:25 P.M.: Seagull that was shot with a bow and arrow still flying around.

Tuesday, 3:14 P.M.:  Caller reports the "veggie sign" is too far out on the road on Bear Lake Road and was a visual obstruction.  Officer responds that he has observed the sign throughout his shift and it is not a hazard.

Tuesday, 4:52 P.M.: Concerned caller says a large white van with a cow on the side is selling illegitimate beef.

Thursday, 2:07 A.M.:  Caller reports he has a llama in his yard and it's eating the leaves off his trees.

Friday, 12:13 A.M.: Anonymous caller reports he was walking home about 10-15 minutes ago and a white Chevy Cobalt slowed near him with a couple of males hanging out the windows swearing and threatening the caller.  The subjects then apologized because they thought he was someone else.  Caller believes they might have been intoxicated.

Saturday, 10:03 A.M.: Very rude female caller reports her bike was taken.

Sunday, 11:45 A.M.: Caller reported a male “drunker than a fart” heading west from Super H.

Friday, September 07, 2012

Hang in there.

September 4.

I know I haven't posted anything substantial in a couple of weeks (well, for most of the summer, really), but I promise to actually sit down and write something longer than a paragraph or two soon.  Very soon.  Seriously.  I'll do it.  Just wait & see.

In the meantime, enjoy this picture of a teensy tiny frog hanging off the screen door.  Get it?  He's hanging in there.  Nyuck nyuck nyuck.