Thursday, June 30, 2011

Only sixteen more months to go!

I'm trying really hard not to get swept into the 2012 presidential election coverage, because seriously, people, there's sixteen more months of this freak show to look forward to. Case in point: remember when Donald Trump was a front runner? That was almost two months ago already. And doesn't it seem like a million years ago? Think of all the fresh crazy that's happened since then! It's too early for all this. I can't take it.

But: this is pretty hard to resist.

Laughter may very well be the only thing that gets us through this.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Baptism swag for Elenore.

Haven't been writing much lately (obviously, given the lack of postings on here over the past few weeks), but I have been farting around with lots of crafty stuff. Tops on my agenda was finishing these two things in time for my friends Elizabeth & Peter's daughter Elenore's baptism today. Mission accomplished!

Baptism present for Elenore.

Baby monkey.

Police blotter.

Thursday, 10:35 P.M.: Report of water running out of washing machine with subject unable to stop the flow. Update: Washburn Public Works Department paged.

Friday, 5:20 P.M.: Request for officer to tell caller's brother to stop racing past her home.

Friday, 8:59 P.M.: Report of group ordering beer and fish fry at restaurant, then screaming it was the worst meal they ever had and walking out without paying for it. Update: Subjects were contacted at their motel and meals were paid for.

Saturday, 1:07 A.M.: Report of vehicle ramming porta-potty, pushing it into the woods.

Saturday, 7:34 P.M.: Report of turtles on roadway. Update: Deputy got turtles off roadway.

Saturday, 10:40 P.M.: Report of people dancing around in the street. Update: Subjects were three high school girls making a video for school project and caller was notified.

Sunday, 10:20 P.M.: Report of strong burning rubber smell by female who stated she was on vacation and did not come to the area to smell odors. Update: No fire located but what with the weather being dense and misty, odor could have been from outside the area.

Sunday, 11:17 P.M.: Request to shoo away mama bear and cub who were raiding a dumpster. Update: Later advised that bear had been "shooed."

Friday, June 24, 2011

“It ran perfectly and had tons of leg room.”

I could go on and on about my longstanding love for The Adventures of Pete & Pete, but it's our first sunny day in a week so I feel like I should go outside and, like, be in the sun while I can. Who knows how long this'll last?

So for now, let me just say how hard I laughed when I re-watched "What We Did On Our Summer Vacation" a few years ago (when the show was in reruns on Noggin) and realized that the car they dig up on the beach is the same car I drove in high school.

(The fun starts at the 2:50 mark.)

Me & the Petes' dad shared a similar amount of enthusiasm for our Cutlass Supremes: "I got a Cutlass Supreme! It's got a radio, doo-doo-doo, windows! Headlights!"

Of course, by the time I was driving my '78 Olds Cutlass Supreme in the late 90s, I wouldn't necessarily have selected words like "style, value and good gas mileage" to describe it. But to steal a line from Big Pete, "It ran perfectly and had tons of leg room." (Except for the part about it running perfectly.)

(Special thanks to the AV Club for reminding me about this.)

Thursday, June 02, 2011

Police blotter.

Sunday, 1:05 P.M.: Report of occupants of beverage stand being too loud.

Sunday, 5:01 P.M.: Report of small kids chasing cars and when the cars slow down, they wave at them and run off.

Tuesday, 2:16 A.M.: Disturbance: report that a male was beating himself up to try and frame his girlfriend for beating on him.

Tuesday, 10:01 P.M.: Report of a motion alarm going off. Update: keyholder stated there was no need to respond to the alarm because there are beetles that are setting off the alarm.

Thursday, 12:35 A.M.:
Caller reported seeing a light on at house that shouldn't be on. Update: it was a reflection from a mirror causing it to look like a light is on.

Thursday, 8:44 A.M.: Suspicious vehicle report. Update: subject was waiting for rest of family to go to breakfast.

Saturday, 12:13 A.M.: Report of horse tied to lamppost.

Saturday, 1:06 A.M.: Report of possibly intoxicated female sitting in one of Family Video’s flower pots.

Saturday, 8:44 P.M.: Report of male being stalked. Update: "stalkers" were two eleven year-olds and an eight year-old who happened to be walking behind caller.