Saturday, April 30, 2011

20 Days of Pictures: Day 8.

Day Eight - A picture that makes you laugh.

Affectionately referred to as "Pie Girl" since 2007.

My friend Sarah used to record a Mexican (we think?) game show called Mega Match Sensacional, and oh, how we loved it. It was kind of like Double Dare, only since we had only a rudimentary grasp on Spanish (not having practiced speaking it since we were in high school 10+ years ago), I think a lot was lost in translation. But, there was one game in particular where the kids answered trivia questions face-to-face (a la the faceoffs on Family Feud), and whichever one lost the round got a pie in the face...well, pie-in-the-face knows no language, now does it?

Anyway, this one particular girl's expression after getting pied always made us laugh ourselves silly, so one day Sarah took a picture of it and now we can cherish it forever.

Friday, April 29, 2011

20 Days of Pictures: Day 7.

Day Seven - A picture of your most treasured item.

Crochet hook.

This is the hook I learned to crochet on when I was about seven years old,
and it's still the one I use the most.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

20 Days of Pictures: Day 6.

Day Six - A picture of your room.

Fortress of solitude.

Painted back in '06. Looks pretty much the same.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

20 Days of Pictures: Day 5.

Day Five - A picture of something you wish you were better at.

I look like I just fell out of "Strange Brew."
(February 2003: the bunny hill at Lost Trail Powder Mountain on the Montana-Idaho border.)

Our ski instructor that day looked like Jack Palance in City Slickers, and he acted like him, too. We called him Curly. (Not to his face.)

I don't think Curly liked us very much. Correction: I don't think he liked me very much. My nervous giggling frustrated him; my lack of core body strength infuriated him; a
nd my Better Off Dead references seemed to fly right over his head, for some reason. Maybe because he was a seventy year-old grizzled mountain man? But seriously, if you were a skiing instructor and you saw me walking toward you with that dumb look on my face, would you be very enthusiastic about the hand the gods had dealt you that day? I mean, good lord, I showed up in wind pants, for god's sake.

To Curly's credit, though, by the end of the day (the entirety of which I spent on said bunny hill), I could ski to the bottom, stop without falling over, and shimmy my way to the tow rope to ride back up. (On the other hand, at one point I did manage to fall "the wrong way" off the tow rope, requiring the tow rope operator to turn the whole thing off and all the other skiers on the line - many of them under the age of five - to audibly heckle me for my ineptitude.)

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

20 Days of Pictures: Day 4.

Day Four - A picture of you when you were little.

New Years 1987.

Modeling the flower girl's dress from my parents' wedding, the veil from my First Communion ensemble, and a New Year's sash while pushing around a cat precariously perched inside a makeshift cage (cardboard box + cooling racks + duct tape) on top of a toy shopping cart, 1987.

Monday, April 25, 2011

20 Days of Pictures: Day 3.

Day Three - A picture of your night.

Positively famished.

An alarming portion of my time each evening is allotted to Toivo maintenance and upkeep.

Sunday, April 24, 2011


My former favorite piece of Easter trim: a duck wearing bunny ears and a cape. (And a pair of lacy legwarmers. Because, y'know, why not?)


My new favorite piece of Easter trim: a creepy lady dressed as a bunny.

Creepy bunny lady.

To me, the gesture reads something like, "Yeah, I'm going to kill you in your sleep. Sorry?"

20 Days of Pictures: Day 2.

Day Two - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day.

Martha & Conan.

Martha catches a lot of flak for being uptight and too much of a perfectionist, but I wish I had a thimble's worth of her drive & ambition. I admire the way she just goes out & learns something and doesn't wait around for someone to do it for her...and as anyone who's ever seen her on Conan or Letterman can tell you, she's freakin' hilarious, too.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

20 Days of Pictures: Day 1.

I told myself I wasn't going to hop on this bandwagon (it's been all over my Facebook feed lately), but eh, what the heck. Been running low on blog inspiration lately, so at least this'll liven things up for a few days. (Plus, let's be honest, it's not too hard to convince me to post embarrassing pictures of myself. Oh, twist my arm!)

Day One - A picture of yourself with five facts.

My response to my mother's recent suggestion that I get a perm.

  1. This is what I looked like in the 7th grade.
  2. I got my first perm that autumn at Cost Cutters. It was also the last perm I ever got.
  3. Yes, it looked that bad every day. Actually, given that this was school picture day, it might've actually looked better than it usually did. The photographer probably had some of those free combs lying around, so I may have spruced it up a little before I parked my butt on the stool & smiled/grimaced.
  4. Yes, I'm pretty sure that haircut technically qualifies as a mullet.
  5. Last but not certainly least, yes, I'm wearing a glitter sweater.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Police blotter.

Tuesday, 7:48 P.M: Anonymous caller reported a black Corvette outside with loud bass for the last 20 minutes.

Friday, 2:13 P.M.: Fraud attempt reported. Caller was told he'd won a Publisher's Clearing House jackpot and told to wire caller $900. When told he did not have that much, he was told that $500 would be fine.

Friday, 2:20 P.M.: Disturbance complaint about jacked-up Chevy "rapping" its pipes near complainant's house.

Friday, 10:31 P.M.: Report of wild turkey attempting to attack woman as she exited from vehicle.

Saturday, 2:16 A.M.: Report of two subjects undressed in middle of road.

Saturday, 10:01 A.M.: Report of subject drying his clothes on caller's quarters.

Sunday, April 03, 2011

I've always longed for a title that makes me sound like a special on the Taco Bell menu!

Crack open a can of "special juice" and pass me the Pixie Stix!

What won the judges over? Was it my fancy face? My glitzwear? My cupcake hands? Only my pal & fellow Toddlers & Tiaras "fan" Elizabeth knows for sure.

All I know is, I'm pretty sure this entitles me to ride in the back of a convertible waving at my subjects during the 4th of July parade.

(For the uninitiated: see below.)

Friday, April 01, 2011

Police blotter.

Monday, 8:31 A.M.: 911 call reported a vehicle stopping and dumping garbage in the bins on Highway 2.

Tuesday, 6:11 P.M.: Caller reported finding a fish located in her yard.

Tuesday, 7:22 P.M.: Report of two males wearing all-white suits rushing at vehicle and pointing. Update: Subjects said they were protesting nuclear power and breaking no laws.

Thursday, 12:25 A.M.: Report of four-wheeler "whipping donuts" for 10-15 minutes.

Sunday, 3:51 P.M.:
Report of youngsters threatening other children over a Kool-Aid stand.

Sunday, 4:27 P.M.: Report of tenant slamming doors and threatening to kill people. Update: subject was angry at flies in his apartment and was threatening to kill them.