Thursday, June 24, 2010



I'm book-less at the moment. I was feeling guilty about it, too, until I realized that I read pretty much all day, every day at work. Plus, I'm slogging through three or four thick, wordy magazines per week, trying to stay ahead of magazine monsoon it's not like I'm not getting my daily recommended allowance of mental fiber. It's summer, and I'm allowed to slack off a little, right?


Two reliably funny streams: BPGlobalPR and FakeAPStylebook.

"The Truth About Your Food"

The only reason this stuck with me is that it explains why I'm helpless when faced with an open bag of Doritos. To paraphrase Stuart MacKenzie, "They put an addictive chemical in their chips that makes ya crave it fortnightly, smartass!"


The Real Housewives of New Jersey
This show is my guiltiest of pleasures, primarily because I've always been so vocal in my dismissals of the other Real Housewives franchises - why would I want to watch a bunch of rich people go shopping all the time? Isn't there enough of that garbage on TV? Aren't there better things I could be doing with my time? There are, there really are - and I rarely get caught-up in this kind of reality TV nonsense, which makes my love for the New Jersey ladies all the more perplexing. And delightful. I don't know why I've fallen so hard for this show, but I have, and what I originally cloaked in irony ("I can't believe these people, let's watch it and laugh at them") has turned into open adoration ("I can't believe how much I miss Dina and her hairless cat!"). Take away the money and the fancy houses, and I'd still watch this. Oh, and they can take away Danielle, too, while they're at it. "Prostitution WHORE!"

Mall Cops: Mall of America

If you aren't already watching this show, tonight's episode would be a great place to start: "'No Pants Day': A group of revelers board trains and plan to run through Mall of America without pants. Taken by surprise, Director of Security Doug Reynolds assembles arrest teams to deal with the onslaught of potential streakers before they can disrupt the mall."

The best part about Mall Cops is how a lot of the incidents featured on the show get blown out way of proportion - either by the cops themselves, or by the show's narrator. A guy walking around with his hands in his pockets MIGHT BE A TERRORIST! Or he's probably just a deaf guy leaning against a wall, waiting for his wife. There's a FIRE AT THE MALL! Only the fire's in an ashtray outside, and all it takes to put it out is a dixie cup of water from a fast food stand. To be sure, the cops deal with a lot of shoplifters, fights and disorderly conduct, too - but the real meat & potatoes here are the moments when the bike cop inexplicably goes out riding in a deserted parking ramp during a blizzard, or when the cops chide teenagers for throwing ice cubes at a neighboring kiosk, or yell at people not to throw paper over the railings because "it might hurt somebody." We all have a tendency to take ourselves a little too seriously at work, don't we?

The Room
Truly awful, and yet, awfully entertaining. I'm not even going to attempt to describe it - go read this instead. The Room was clearly intended to be a taut, sexy thriller, but after it was released and became a cult hit due solely to its utter crapulence, the filmmaker decided to try to squeeze some lemonade out of the situation and has now rebranded it as a "black comedy." It's not a black comedy; it's a mess. A hilarious mess. The scene below, which I've previously posted here, should give you a good idea of what you're in for:

The A-Team
I plan on writing more about this masterpiece in the coming days, but for now, I'll just say that I loved it enough to see it twice.

The White Stripes: Under Great Northern Lights
This movie looks beautiful, and even as it made me feel like I was getting a peek inside the inner workings of the Jack White/Meg White dynamic, it still kept me at arm's length. I liked that. However, some of the editing during their performances was a little irritating - it seemed odd to cut out right in the middle of some of the songs, like a needle skipping over a record.


- City band has started up again. I've skipped one out of the three rehearsals so far...that might not bode well.

- I'm finishing up some more potholders right now, but after that, I hope to get started on some embroidery stuff at long last. I picked up a book last week with a bunch of different stitching motifs in it, and got some more iron-on patterns when I was down in Minneapolis a few weeks ago, so I should be able to find something to inspire me to get crackin'. It sounds a lot better than sitting underneath a big pile of yarn all summer.

1 comment:

CitizenBen said...

You MUST see The Room with the Rifftrax, it brings it to a whole other level.