Wednesday, June 27, 2007

"Destination: Infestation."

Premiering Saturday, July 7th on the Lifetime ("Television for Women") Movie Channel:


"A young female scientist flying home from an eco-paradise discovers that a swarm of nasty insects has been released inside the plane. When the hungry insects turn out to be a biological threat, the plane is refused permission to land. Now it’s up to the scientist, the pilot, and a teenage passenger to get everyone down safely. But where? (Genres: Animals/Wildlife, Movies, Suspense, *Things On a Plane)"

OMIGOD, Destination: Infestation. (
As Shannon suggested: "You know what would help? Bringing some snakes on the plane to eat the bugs...")

Why this is debuting on the Lifetime Movie Channel, I've no idea. Except that, oh, maybe women LOVE MOVIES ABOUT VERMIN ON PLANES?!?!? (Hey, I'm living proof!)

That reminds me--does anybody else remember Leiningen Versus the Ants? That short story about some South American plantation being swarmed by poisonous, marauding ants?** (Available in its glorious entirety online, right over here.) This reminds me of that. Interestingly, I once saw a MacGyver episode that was clearly based on Leiningen Versus the Ants, which gave me a astronomical amount of dork points since not only was I watching MacGyver to begin with, but I knew the obscure short story on which the episode was based. Thanks, English degree. Thanks a lot.

*Thanks, Nick Anich.

**Sample favorite line: "Leiningen flogged his brain till it reeled. Was there nothing on earth could sweep this devil's spawn back into the hell from which it came?"

Sunday, June 24, 2007


For no good reason, here's the sometimes surprising list of my twenty most viewed pictures on Flickr:

20. Fortress of Solitude
Fortress of solitude.

19. On the Road in Ewan, Washington.
On the road in Ewan, Washington.

18. Another old one.
Another old one.

17. How my mom kept busy.
How my mom kept busy.

16. Ice shacks.
Ice shacks.

15. He could snap me like a twig.
He could snap me like a twig.

14. Grapevines.

13. Out of time.
Out of time.

12. Popozao?

11. Windy dock.
Windy dock.

10. St. Paul's, interior.
St. Paul's, interior.

9. Movie set.
Movie set.

8. Sarah's first stab.
Sarah's first stab.

7. Hobbit house.
Hobbit house.

6. Nathan's Hot Dogs.
Nathan's Hot Dogs.

5. Panorama of the City of New York.
Panorama of the City of New York.

4. Owen Cleary, Boy of Steel.
Owen Cleary, Boy of Steel.

3. Yes, it's Buffy.
Yes, it's Buffy.

2. Big Shirtless Rod.
Big Shirtless Rod.

1. Pumpkin Autopsies '06.
Pumpkin Autopsies '06.

Monday, June 18, 2007


Hodgepodge from the past weekend...

Flowers in the garden:
Orange poppies.
Purple iris.
Pink poppy.
Orange poppy.
Yellow iris.
Purple iris.
Orange poppies.

I went over to Duluth/Superior on Saturday, and spotted this in Duluth at the pet store on Sunday.
Critter Carriage.

Fancied-up hamster.
They tarted-up a hamster.

A depiction of the ball, in action.
I'm not sure yet whether I think this is fabulous, or freaky. Maybe it's both?

Something about this makes me laugh:
This makes me laugh for some reason.

Finally, after discovering that our previous efforts to man-up Joe's kitchen wallpaper border last August were thwarted by his ex-wife pulling most of the beer stickers out of the scary gingerbread men's grubby little paws, this weekend Shannon and I leapt into action once again. The drinks may be girlier this time around, but still, I think the rising levels of testosterone in the room are palpable.
It looks manlier already.
Manning up Joe's kitchen. (Again.)
Snow White.
And Snow White is infinitely more enjoyable when she's sloshed.

Friday, June 15, 2007

There's no "I" in "Florida." (Um, wait a sec...)

Let me get this off my chest: Florida, on the whole, is not for me.

Now, it's not like I harbor a burning hatred for Florida or anything like that (nothing like my burning hatred for South Dakota, anyway), but let's face it--I come from the land of the ice and snow, from the midnight sun where the hot springs blow. In laymen's terms, I'm not built for Florida. I am pale. (By choice, mind you--I could tan if I wanted to. I just don't want to.) I'm compact and designed for retaining heat on the frozen tundra of the north. (Which doesn't explain why so many of the Finnish people I know are so diabolically tall, but well, let's gloss over that inconvenient detail for now.) And on top of all that, my favorite travel destinations of the past few years have included a ghost town in Montana, the deranged carnival at Coney Island, decrepit fairgrounds in Queens, and Anne Frank's house in Amsterdam--y'know, kind of a more woebegone variety of stuff than the average Disney attraction has to offer me.

But--putting all that aside--Disney is to the Nelson family like cemetery pinecone-picking trips are to the Asbach family. Everybody's got their something. And that Disney magic is just the something that Liz & Peter wanted for their wedding, and gulldang it, I was gonna be there. So I packed up my pale self, my sunblock and my camera and got ready to soak up some sun, and some booze. (C'mon, I needed something to take the shiny-happy edge off.)

Oh, blessed rum runner.

And oh, baby, rum runners definitely take the edge off.

But seriously, in all honesty, other than a few sips in the evenings (and if you know anything about my complete lack of alcohol tolerance, you know it only takes a couple of sips to get me going) I spent most of the trip wandering around with Shannon & Erica. Our hotel was next to "Downtown Disney," an offshoot of the parks but not actually part of the parks--hence, it's free to walk around. FREE. Music to my ears!

There's lots of stuff to look at. There's Lego sculptures...

Lego shark.


There's apparently dive-bombing birds...

Watch out for birds.

There's $325.00 crystal pegasus souvenirs...

Crystal pegasus!

And there's bulk candy. For $11.98 a pound.


Oh--and there are lots of fabulous fashion options to model.

Tigger towel.

One day, we mini-golfed.


Music notes.

Uh-oh, now Liz fell in, too?

Wait--the LOWEST score wins in golf?

Wait--you mean the lowest score wins in golf? Shit.

Oh, yeah--and there was that wedding to attend to.



Fancy Bowl of Meat.

Hey, it's Bowl of Meat's 2nd cousin from Florida!

After that, we were off to the parks for the afternoon.

Oh my god, it's Gigli!


Rocking Rollercoaster.

The Tower of Terror.

And, behold, my favoritest ride of them all--BENCH!!!!!!


I can't wait for the movie version!!

The next day, it was time for Erica, Shannon and me to fly back to Milwaukee...the bittersweetness of saying goodbye was lessened significantly by the fact that Midwest Airlines serves freshly baked chocolate chip cookies on the plane. OH MY GOD.




Enjoy a comparison of the traffic heading north on Memorial Day (our lane) to the traffic heading back south.

Why I'm glad I live up north.

All the more reason to step lively out of the bottom half of the state--well, that and the fact that it seems like everywhere we look, there's some evidence of their moral depravity.

"The Landing Strip."

Sex Olives.

Oh well, I guess it was good to be back in a place that would openly sell something called "Sex Olives." I'm pretty sure those wouldn't ever get Disney's stamp of approval.