Friday, January 27, 2006

View from the top.

I took a drive up in the hills across the bay from Ashland yesterday afternoon, and took a few pictures of the view back toward town. Kind of gives a different perspective on the landscape...I like that from over there, you can see the hills to the south--reminds me that I'd like to get down by Mellen sometime this winter. There's a band of big hills there that remind me of Montana a bit...they're mighty steep, I believe there's even a fault line running underneath them.

What you might be able to pick out:
On the far left, the long brown thing sticking out into the lake is the Oredock.

Right by the middle, you can see a white spire/triangle shape--that's Our Lady of the Lake Church.

A tad bit to the right of the church, there's a big white rectangle-shaped building near the ice's edge--that's the Hotel Chequamegon.

More police blotter.

Tuesday, 6:08 PM: Caller reported that an intoxicated male stole a bottle of vodka from a Washburn business.

Wednesday, 1:08 AM: Report of something white on State Rd 13 by the carving place outside of Washburn, caller had found a blanket with blood on it. Update, 2:51 AM: Blanket appears to have white tail deer hair on it.

Wednesday, 7:13 PM: Caller reported that someone had stolen her house key and was refusing to give it back.

Friday, 6:25 AM: Report of intoxicated male flopping in the road and almost being hit by a semi.

Friday, 9:59 PM: Caller reported that wild dogs were eating her and her neighbor's rabbits.

Saturday, 2:41 PM: Caller reported that his neighbor was burning garbage in his stove again and that it is emitting an "unpleasant odor."

Friday, January 20, 2006

A man with a plan...for Minnesota.

Vampire seeks Minnesota governor's job

MINNEAPOLIS (Reuters) - Minnesota voters, who eight years ago elected a former professional wrestler as their governor, may find a self-proclaimed vampire on the ballot for the office this year.

"Politics is a cut-throat business," said Jonathan "The Impaler" Sharkey, who said he plans to announce his bid for governor on Friday on the ticket of the Vampyres, Witches and Pagans Party.

"I'm a Satanist who doesn't hate Jesus," Sharkey told Reuters. "I just hate God the Father."

However, he claims to respect all religions and if elected, will post "everything from the Ten Commandments to the Wicca Reed" in government buildings.

Sharkey also pledged to execute convicted murders and child molesters personally by impaling them on a wooden pole outside the state capitol.

Sharkey told the Minneapolis Star Tribune that he's a vampire "just like you see in the movies and TV."

"I sink my fangs into the neck of my donor ... and drink their blood," he said, adding that his donor is his wife, Julie.

Sharkey said he planned to announce his candidacy on Friday -- the 13th -- because that was "my lucky number."
If you'd like to learn more about Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey's "New Deal," and c'mon, you know that you do, then check this out.

Fun facts:
1. He, like Jesse Ventura, has been a professional wrestler.
2. He has a NASCAR racing license.
3. He plans on running for President in 2008.
4. He has sections on his website detailing his agenda, his political ideals, and impalement.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Santa = Patriot.

Taken secret-agent-like while driving past a house in Ashland.

Make no mistake about it, America is Santa's favorite.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Police Blotter

For as long as I can remember, my favorite part of my hometown's newspaper, the Daily Press, has been the abridged police report they run on Page Two ("Your World in 5 Minutes"). Words cannot describe the wonders that I've beheld in that simple column of text...reports of kittens found in mailboxes, pies being stolen from windowsills, "ugly" motorcycles making too much noise...truly, more than anything else in the paper, that little 3x5 patch of newsprint captures the very Twin-Peaks-meets-Mayberry essence of this place.

Since I'm once again able to enjoy it on a daily basis (why they don't publish that part of the paper online, I'll never understand), I thought I'd start gathering up some of my favorites once a week and posting them on here. Whether you're from here, or you only wish you were, please enjoy a little slice of what we like to call..."The Northland."
Monday, 3:16 PM: Report of someone stealing caller's aluminum cans from out front of his house in Washburn.

Wednesday, 7:56 PM: Report of two males throwing ice balls at caller's son.

Wednesday, 8:57 PM: Caller reported neighbor's dog is always barking.

Wednesday, 11:26 PM: Report of a suspicious blinking light on vehicle.

Friday, 3:30 PM: Report of someone giving the caller an obscene gesture and then coming after the caller with a plow truck.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

To the Batcave!

Owen Cleary--Batmanning it up since 2002.

(Only now, he's big enough to flick underwear at the evildoers.)